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Friday, May 28, 2004

Posting
It wasn't all that long ago that some really annoyed and, let's face it, probably really annoying, people were lamenting the "verbing of America." Standing in the shower today, I looked down at a jar of something that my fiancee's sister, who works in a swank spa in Woodstock, which we all know is the new Hamptons, had made for her. It contained oatmeal and various other household staples which, when brought together to form a paste, are believed by some to posess magically curative powers. It's called a "scrub." So here's my theory: All those New Economy types who grew rich using words like "impact" and, I shudder, "Zeitgeist" as verbs are now blowing money on such things as "scrubs" and "washes."

And while I'm at it, when exactly did it become cool to put an article before words like soup, beer, or wine? Mmmmm, that's a good soup. Ech!

[Full disclosure: Scroll down a bit and you'll see the name Shinseki as a verb, denoting being forced into retirement for speaking inconvenient truths.]
My Other Blog
Okay, everyone, I've decided to come clean: I am Rance; Rance is I. The speculation as to my identity contained in this Reuters story was so preposterous, so downright silly--Clooney wishes!--I have no choice but to emerge from my undisclosed location and come clean, fess up, face the music, facts, nation.
-- I Am Rance

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

News Flash: Hollywood Movie Not Realistic
I'd just like to take a moment to thank the Cato Institute's Patrick J. Michaels for enlightening me and my fellow USA Today "readers" on the true nature of Roland Emmerich's latest sci-fi thriller, "The Day After Tomorrow." He makes a lot of other great points too (Apparently, there's an island called Three Mile--I wonder, does Eminem know this?), but overall his main point seems to be that the movie is just totally not realistic. So where you in prior to the release of "Independence Day," Patrick J. Michales, where were you?!?!!
-- 'Day After Tomorrow': A lot of hot air (USA Today)
Killing Time
George Saunders has checked the slot and for once it's not goatless. (You Saunders fans will know what I mean.) Here's his simple, three-step Iraq exit strategy.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Casting Call: Arab Male TV Viewers Needed
We are: A major international news agency seeking subjects and locale for exciting current events-themed photo shoot.
You are: Preferably mustachioed, non-white, and familiar with all television watching poses sanctioned under International Law. Must be willing to follow (polite) orders of photo director, also must be able to feign look of intense interest for long periods of time while videotaped Bush interview is on Pause. Non-arabs welcome, including Africans, however those deemed insufficiently "Muslim" in appearance (i.e., those fair of complection, or exhibiting traditional evidence of femininity) must be willing to don traditional Arab headdress to disguise ethnicity. Note: For the last time, people, paste your freaking resume in the BODY of the email. Do NOT attach it!









Mark-Kate and Ashley do their part for the war effort


Thursday, May 06, 2004

Phrase of the Day
"Disproportionately focused on military objectives." That's Jordan's Queen Noor (nee Lisa Najeeb Halaby) discussing the U.S.'s approach to the Middle East, on 'Hardball' tonight.
-- 'Hardball' Front Page (MSNBC.com)
An American Hero

Hey, cabron, don't mess with the Meximullet


Isidro Mejia, a Texas construction worker in Los Angeles, recently had six three-and-a-half-inch nails driven into his head by a nail gun. Bizarrely, he is expected to make a full recovery.
-- Man recovering
after nails driven into skull
(Click for story--and x-ray image)

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Objective Criticism
Could things be going any worse over in Iraq? Insurgencies, widespread discontent, outrage over beatings of prisoners. Scan the latest coverage of the U.S.'s extravagant Pottery Barn purchase disguised as a country. Given how abhorrent--and damaging to U.S. interests in the Middle East--this prisoner abuse is, it's tough to call it over-reported. But you have to admit that that the story gives media types (who are overwhelmingly against this war) a way to express their disapproval under the cover of journalistic objectivity. As with most media bias--including media bias I happen to agree with--it comes down not to how something is covered but what gets coverage in the first place.
-- Iraqi Recounts Hours of Abuse by U.S. Troops (NY Times)
-- Full Iraq Coverage from MSNBC.com

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