Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Snore Pie with Yawn Sauce

In addition to the butt-scratching, war-making and obession with all things iPod, get ready to add a new item to the ever-expanding list of human-chimp similarities: yawning.
-- Study finds behavior just as contagious as in humans (MSNBC.com)
PLUS: Bush or Chimp?
STILL FUNNY: That chimp video you watched fifteen times in 1997 (MPEG)

Plucked this catty little gem, courtesy of ABC anchor Peter Jennings, from the Times's breathless Dem convention coverage yesterday: "I heard Brokaw the other day reminisce about what a wonderful opportunity it is to see old friends, and so perhaps for Tom it's as much a social occasion as it is for some of the delegates. I think of it more as a target of opportunity."
-- New York Times sidebar: Anchors on the convention, and each other

Monday, July 26, 2004

Guys, Get 'Em While They're Hot!

Hey fellas, did stubborn yellow pit-stains ruin your beloved "Don't Forget the Clit" T-shirt? Well, help is on the way, thanks again to our friends at Planned Parenthood. Trust me, you'll be blown away at the deep connection you'll feel when you run into another dude wearing one of these babies, uh, fetuses, uh... shirts.
-- Yahoo! Shopping

Friday, July 23, 2004

U2: We'll Go to iTunes
If the person who (yoink!) swiped a rough mix of their upcoming record, Vertigo, from a boombox releases a single track on a P2P network, the boys from Dublin announce they'll put the whole damn thing on iTunes for legal download. Smart.
Story from 'Wired'
PLUS: U2 Official Site

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Happens Only Twice a Year

And you'll have to wait to next May 28th for the next one (or the following July 12th). On those dates, the earth and NYC are aligned so the sun sets directly down the center of each New York street. How cool is that? The answer, of course, is 8.
-- NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day [Via Cool Hunting]
Nice Job, Dad!

Presidential daughter Jenna Bush helps her pops restore honor and dignity to the White House.

Some folks might call it grossly unfair to judge a parent by his kids. In case those people are wrong, consider this pic Exhibit B.
PLUS: Iraq death toll hits 900 (Fox News)
AND: Don Knotts turns 80

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Anti-Freeze, the New Apple-tini?
Today's must-read bit of news comes from Slate's Explainer section, and it grapples with a question you'd never think to ask but are nonetheless oddly grateful for its having been answered. Namely, Why Is Antifreeze So Delicious? Apparently, the stuff is as tasty as it is poisonous.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Karaoke Bar : 2004 :: Crack House : 1988
Like swing dancing in the 90's and crack smoking in the 80s, the white-hot karaoke craze currently sweeping the city, says today's Times, is "a form of urban group expression that satisfies a longing for community."
-- 'Sweet Caroline' Never Seemed So Good
-- Screw community, try it at home: Ronan's Online Karaoke

L.A.T.I.F.ah #1

Click the image. I challenge you to spend less than 60 seconds staring at the full size map.

As any Cargo or Lucky reader knows, too many pesky words can get in the way of that wonderfully zen experience of zoning out to a well laid-out page of trendy products. (When the aliens decide it's time to alert the chosen that an attack is imminent, is it so unreasonable to believe that they will do so via hidden patterns in a three-page spread of must-have handbags? No, it is not.)

Reading, it's been said, is fundamental. But so it looking at things. Therefore I have decided to start an irregular series of posts dedicated solely to directing your eyes toward diverting, even transporting images. The series has been named L.A.T.I.F.ah, for Looking At Things Is Fundamental (the "ah" not only makes it slightly more pronounceable, it also stands for the noise these images will bring forth). [Mention hip-hop/acting sensation Queen Latifah here?-- Ed.]

For L.A.T.I.F.ah #1, I've elected to go with the Washington, DC subway map (get it, elected? DC?) which I think you'll find particularly, um, transporting! YES! But in all seriousness (by which I mean more seriousness--sorry been watching too much David Brent lately) have a look. New Yorkers especially will likely agree that, compared to our overly-vertical, inelegantly asymmetrical grid, the DC Metro map is a thing of well proportioned beauty. Ah.
-- MAP: DC Metro
PLUS: Maps from around the globe on The Subway Page

Friday, July 09, 2004

Not less than 10% Iraqi civilian blood [Sorry, I just couldn't resist, cuz, you know, it's red.]

New Freedom Fry Sauce Introduced
Sick of giving money to the stupid Democrats every time you douse those freedom fries, the ones that you drunkenly scarf every night before you pass out in a puddle of last night's puke, with Heinz brand real tomato ketchup? Do you even remember the question? You've got two options. One, you could order Dominos, whose owner reportedly personally spits in the pizza of anyone on the Planned Parenthood mailing list (plus he drinks Coors!), or, you could order some W Ketchup.

Senator Feelgood
As John "Vishnu" Kerry’s shameless grope-fest of poor shit-eatin’-grinnin' John Edwards continues into Day 4, I have decided to provide some historical context. But first, a few recent pics of Grabby McGee in action...

For comparison’s sake, selected recent pairings:

Wow, this caption writes itself

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